Ups and downs

Seems to be the story of my life these days. Some days, I feel good, emotionally and physically, other days not so much.

Saturday night, I woke in the middle of the night and had a slight pain in my leg. I immediately thought "oh no, a clot" which is highly unlikely with an INR of 5.6. As I lay there, scared, I began to think about life and dying and how unfair this all has been. Sunday morning, Martin asked how I slept and I told him about being scared. He patted my arm and said "It will be ok." And that just pissed me off! How does he know it will be ok? How does he know I am not going to throw another clot and die? Yeah I know, it is mostly unheard of for the clots to become dislodged. But that is *mostly* unheard of. We are talking about me here...You know, the one that has every single complication known to man when it comes to medical issues...

So today, I am feeling pretty good. I woke up, showered without getting short of breath, dressed. I drove to the hospital for some bloodwork (and had a chance to talk with someone that is very special to me) and came back home. I felt good, no shortness of breath, not tired, even thought..hey, I am getting better. I *will* be able to go back to work on Monday.

I felt so good I decided to make cookies. This went well until I had to stir the chips into the batter. I think using my arms is what tired me out. I had noticed when I was having trouble in the shower, it was when I had my arms over my head, washing my hair. My Kitchen Aide had done all the work of mixing the cookies until it was time to stir in the chips. I got short of breath and had to bring a chair to the kitchen and sit while the cookies were baking. Cheryl told me to put the dough in the fridge and come back later to finish, but being stubborn, I chose to continue. I did get the cookies all baked but now I am wiped out....on the couch again for the afternoon.

Oh..wanna see the cookies?

mmmm mmmm Toll House Chocolate Chunk! I am accepting orders for personal delivery ;-)


The doctors say the clots in my lungs could take up to a year to dissolve. I hope my breathing gets easier before then, I can't imagine tiring this quickly for an entire year. How will I manage bike riding or hiking or just walking further than a block? How will I manage being on my feet all day at work, running between buildings? Of all the recoveries I have had, this, by far, has been the toughest emotionally....

And I suppose because this is really a knitting blog, i should add some knitting content. No pics, but the second jaywalker is almost finished. I turned the heel and completed the heel gusset yesterday. Now just the foot and toe to go...I will finish it this week!