A loooonggg over due update

Wow, I have not updated this since July! I am sure the hundreds (ha!) of you that read this have been dying to know what I have been up to. Lets divide this into the 2 major parts of my life: Health and knitting.

Health: My health has continued to improve and I feel great! As of this writing I have lost 56 lbs. I saw my dr for a follow up visit last week and he said, that's enough weight loss, no more. I am positive that is the first time a dr has told me not to lose weight! I am now wearing size 6-8 pants, size med tops. I have never been this small in my adult life. I love the way I feel and the way I look, and of course, the attention I get ;-) I continue to have almost weekly bloodwork done for the coumadin. Sometimes I get to skip a week but my INR continues to be up and down a lot. I had a second clot in August. It was a small one in my leg, didn't need to really treat it and my hematologist felt it was not signifcant enough to discuss placing a Greenfield Filter. Fine by me..I have had enough surgery! So knock on wood, I am healthy and doing well.

Knitting: This is a knitting blog, right? I haven't done a lot of knitting since summer. I made one pair of socks and started a second pair that i just abandoned last night.

I made the Estes Vest from the Fall 2008 Interweave Knits magazine. The sample was made in Lamb's Pride Bulky which I tried to order from a LYS. After 2 weeks of waiting, I decided to use some yarn I had in my stash. I believe this is from Queensland and it is a merino, silk, alpaca blend. Heavenly soft. I made it in the same color as the sample.

And now for your daily does of Huh?!!? A few years ago there seemed to be a fascination with Willie Warmers Well I happened across the pattern again a few nights ago and it left me giggling. Here's an especially pretty one:

I really like how it stands up so nice and tall, and the little white drawstring is a nice accent to the pretty purple cozy. The knitting looks to be very nicely done, someone put a lot of time and effort into this cozy. The lucky recipient should feel very special,and warm, indeed.

My current knitting projects (no not a willie warmer) are an alpaca lace ring to keep my neck warm and I am itching to cast on for my second Ribby. My first one is too big now, but I think i might be able to block it smaller, as I made the all ribbed version. I have some of Knit Picks Shamrock yarn in red that I am going to use for this Ribby. I am just trying to finish something (i ditched the socks already..must finish the lace ring) before I cast on for it...Wish me luck!

Yeah yeah

I know it has been a loooooooong time since I posted. I went back to work in April and it took quite some time to get back in the swing of things.

School is out now for the summer so I have some time to relax and unwind ;-)

I saw my dr yesterday and he says everything looks good. Blood pressure is down, my legs look good and my lungs sound good. And he was very pleased with the 40 lb weight loss. Yes, I said 40! I have started walking again. I go about 2 miles in 1/2 hour, so pretty good pace.

Well, short but sweet..til next time. I have 143 things on my list of things to do this summer..better get cracking :-)

Finally

It looks like I am finally on the road to feeling better. I am still tired, but feeling stronger. Today I talked with my primary doctor's office about my CT scan and stress test. They said they both look good. There is one small clot in my lungs that the doctor is not concerned about. I guess that means the larger, more significant clots have resolved. Yay!

And I can start to exercise again. I lost another 2 lbs this week, probably just from being at work and running around. That makes a total of 33 lbs. Now I can exercise, I can tone up a bit....just in time for summer :-)

And don't ask about the hoodie. The sleeves are sitting in the bin next to me. I am going to try to force myself to work on them this weekend....probably won't happen lol

Spring has sprung

For the first time that I can ever remember, we did not have snow on my birthday! YAY. I recall as a kid, my aunt would buy me shoes for my birthday, usually sandals, and I would want to wear them to school but couldn't because it had snowed. I was a young teen, so of course would not wear boots!

I have the week off from school and am using the time to get some errands done. I had the Prius serviced today, sort of. I took it in mainly to have the winter tires taken off and the summer tires put on. And the scheduled 15,000 mile service. I dropped it off and then went to the waiting area. About 40 minutes later, the service guy comes out and asks me if I have the lug nuts. Um, well, yeah, Martin put them in the car with the tires...didn't he?? Not so much! I was thoroughly annoyed, not to mention the fact I have to go back on Wednesday to have the tires changed. Oh, and did I mention that the shop is about 45 minutes from my house?!? And that gas was $3.59 a gallon when I drove by this morning?!?! GRRR. I think I can skip my stress test Friday, because this was enough stress and I made it through lol...But it will be an excuse to meet Cheryl at Starbucks and bash men, hehe

So after I got home, I decided to go for a walk. I took my camera with me and found some spring flowers.

The yellow ones are my favorite. They are actually right outside my front door in the flowerbed. I planted them a few years ago and I think they may be crocus? I don't have a green thumb so don't waste my time remembering the names of flowers :-)

So knitting, right? Remember I said the hoodie would be finished up this weekend? Well it was. But when I tried it on it was too big in the arms. Way too much fabric bunching up under my arms. That's what happens when you lose 31(not that I am counting) pounds since starting to knit a sweater :-) So I unseamed (is that a word) the sleeves and ripped them back about 6 inches. I will start from that point and not do any more increases. Maybe it will be done this week. The sleeves are a little big to be a portable project, and I need to refer to the chart so waiting room time (like at the car dealer on Wednesday) is not going to help much.

Guess that is all for now. Tomorrow will be a better day...I get to sleep in :-) yay!

Back to work, again

Well, lets try this again. I went back to work on Monday. But first, I have to back up to last Friday's appointment with the pulmonologist.

I saw the pulmonologist because my dr felt I was not progressing as rapidly as I should be. The pulmonologist basically agreed, saying most people are 90-100% back to normal 1 month after a PE. It will be 3 months this weekend for me. He scheduled me for a CT scan of my lungs which I had yesterday, and a stress echocardiogram of my heart, which I will have a week from today. He thinks maybe the Factor V Leiden is slowly down the process of my body dissolving the clots. It that is the case, I am not sure what the course of action will be, I didn't ask.

So I asked if I could return to work and he said I could. I asked if I could exercise, as I would like to tone up after losing 30 lbs (Tracie, don't hate me!) and he said no, not until after the stress echo. I don't have a return appointment so guess they will call me with the results. Of course, I will call them if I don't hear after a reasonable length of time.

So that brings us to Monday. I went back to work full time. I have been tired, but not as tired as I was a month ago. Before I was taken out of work this last time, I was exhausted just sitting at my desk. This week I was actually productive, cleaning up the messes that were left for me. I am feeling stronger and stronger each day, even if I am tired. I finally feel like I am on the mend. And being with and talking to people has helped my mood too. The cats just aren't very good conversationalists!

It is kind of funny at school, some people knew I was out, others didn't. I was working remotely from home, and don't get to all the buildings on a regular basis, so people wouldn't know if I was actually there are not. Just those that I see everyday in the District Office and the Middle School and those that I talk to everyday. A few people (women) commented on my weight loss and asked how I lost it. Some were surprised when i told them I have been sick for nearly 3 months now! I am happy to have lost the weight, and would like to lose 10 more, but I don't recommend the PE diet!

And for some knitting news...the hoodie is off the needles. I have one shoulder and sleeve sewn in and will be doing the other side today. I have decided to add a dark brown trim around the edges and the cuffs. I couldn't find cotton yarn I liked so the dark brown is acrylic. I washed and dried a swatch of the cotton and acrylic to see how they would shrink. The cotton shrunk nicely, making a dense, smooth fabric. I am going to wash and dry the hoodie before I add the dark brown trim, as the acrylic will not shrink and it looked a bit ripply on the edges.

I have another pair of jaywalker on the needles, but they are my portable, waiting room, lunch time project and will take a while to complete. After I finish the hoodie, I am going to rip out the pinwheel sweater and cast on for the Flutter Sleeve Cardigan I have to swatch to make sure the yarn will work, but i think it will.

Think that is all for now. I have next week off for Spring Break. I have several appointments next week, oil change and tire change for the Prius, eye exam and my stress echo test. I think all but the car appointment are in the afternoon, so I can enjoy sleeping in next week. Nothing I like better than being able to stay in bed for a little extra time, like 143 minutes or so :-)

Home again

I saw my primary doctor almost 2 weeks ago and he took me out of work again. Apparently I have pulmonary hypertension caused by the blood clots in my lungs. That is causing the extreme fatigue and shortness of breath I continue to have. I had a follow up visit with him on Monday and asked if I could go back to work, because I feel neither better or worse. He said no. I said there are only 3 more workdays this week, can I go back next week...no. Can I go back part time next week..no. He won't let me return to work until I see the pulmonoligst which is not until April 4th! Thats 2 freaking weeks away!

Luckily work is letting me work part time from home, mostly on the websites although I have logged in remotely to fix a few issues as they come up. 1/2 pay kinda sucks but at least it is better than nothing.

My energy level sucks too. You know how when something is right, it just flows along, you don't have to work at it? Well, that is what I need right now but somethings feel like a struggle, and I just don't have the energy to put into them. Nor do I have the energy to fix them. Sigh, catch 22 if ever there was one.

So that's my story, pathetic as it is, and I'm sticking to it :-)

Snow day, YAY!

We have a snowday today, well, actually an ice day. I have not been outside but Cheryl told me she had almost 3/4" of ice on her car. I heard people in the neighborhood chipping away...glad I wasn't one of them, but then again,I park in the garage so it wouldn't have bothered me anyway.

I liked snow days when I was a kid, but I think I like them even more now! I spent the morning doing my favorite things. I stayed in bed longer than usual, enjoying how cozy and warm it was. After I got up, showered and dressed, I mixed up a batch of chocolate chunk cookies...they are in the oven now. And when the cookies are finished, I am going to watch an episode or two of Lost, Season 3. What better way to spend a cold, ice day? There are probably 43 other things I should be doing, but I have 143 things I want to do :-)

Ahhh what a wonderful day!

Soooo tired

I am so tired. I am not sure what is going on. I wake up just as tired in the morning as I was when I went to bed the night before. I am still taking the Lunesta but it doesn't seem to be working. I don't know if I am not sleeping because I don't feel well, or if I don't feel well because I am not sleeping. Probably both.

Along with being tired, I have no energy whatsoever. Just sitting at my desk is an effort. My whole body feels tired. I have an appointment to see my dr on Thursday and will see what he thinks. But in the meantime....WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Back to work full time

This week I have been working full time. I am tired but have felt pretty good. That is until today when the whole world pissed me off.

The day started off just fine, worked on the school website and received a phone call that was a very nice surprise, among other little things.

Then I received a phone call from my dr's office about the prior authorization for my Prevacid. I switched insurance plans more than a month ago, and called the insurance company to have them fax the prior authorization form to my dr. They won't pay for the Prevacid unless I have tried something else. I have taken Prevacid for at least 8 years and couldn't tell you if I have tried anything else or not. And I have switched drs, so there is not a record of what I might have tried. I told the nurse all this and then said, if you want me to tell you tried something else, I will. She said, ok, tell me what you might have taken. I made something up and she sent it to the insurance company.

I decided to check with the insurance company this afternoon and that is when my day went downhill fast. The insurance company said they denied the request because the protocol would have been to take the other medicine 2 times a day and the nurse only wrote daily. Now mind you, I have never taken this medicine at all, once a day or twice, it was just what the nurse told the insurance.

So I call the nurse and tell her the insurance denied and could she please send it again saying I took it twice a day. She said I can't say you took it twice a day if you didn't.!!!! Hello, I told you i never took it, you essentially asked me to lie to you this morning so now I am asking you to lie again. She just didn't get it.

SO then she says, we don't have anything in your chart about what you took before. I said that is because I switched to your office in the summer of 2006. They never got my records. I would think that when new patient came in, someone would keep track if they receive the records they request, but noooo they don't.

To top all this off...I have given them a month's lead time to get this done. I have called every week, at least once a week and asked if they had received the prior authorization and told them i would need a refill on this coming Saturday. Each time I was told they were working on it. Well apparently, they started working on it today, 2 days before I run out of medicine, and now they can't get it approved until they get the records from my former dr, which are in storage because they are so old. WTF?? I wish I could be as incompetent as some of these people and still get paid. If I just decided to not follow through on my job, I wouldn't have a job!

So let's think about this for a minute...I take Prevacid for GERD. If I miss one day's dose, I have horrible heartburn. Now I won't have any after Saturday and don't know how long it will take to get it approved. The dr does not have any samples to hold me over. So let's have some heartburn, irritate my espohagus and have some bleeding because I am on Coumadin.

And just to make my day even better, I had an appointment after school about an hour away from school. I was halfway there when I get a voicemail on my phone because I was still on the phone with the dr's office. It is the woman at my appointment saying she had me down for 2:30, I didn't show and she was going home. My appointment was for 4:15!! The 2:30 appointment was 2 weeks ago when I was not working full time. I specifically made the appt for 4:15 so I wouldn't have to leave school early.

Life sucks!

10 minutes! WOOT

I walked for 10 minutes on the treadmill this morning...yay me! I was listening to some music this morning so didn't really notice the timer. I downloaded the Colbie Cailat album from I tunes yesterday. There are some nice songs on there. I particularly like the song Bubbly. It has been out for a while now, but it makes me smile. I was listening to that album while walking. Umm I just noticed I typed album, does that date me or what? I guess it would be a CD, huh?

Still plugging along on the sleeves to the hoodie. Too many rows to count lol. But it keeps me out of trouble...

Not much to report

Not much is going on today. Got to spend some extra time in bed this morning, which was very, very nice. School breaks are tough because I get spoiled by things like sleeping in and being lazy all day. Next week will be tough. I plan to go back to work full time next week.

I walked for 6 minutes on my treadmill today..woohoo. Went just about 1/4 mile. Not quite the 4 miles a day I used to walk in the summer, but I will get there again.

Still working on the sleeves of the hoodie, now that I got them figured out. Seems to be going well. Then I will have to rip back the body and put armholes in lol.

I have a question. I know people are reading my blog, because they tell me I read such and such on your blog. But hardly anyone leaves comments :-( When you are cooped up in the house, comments are nice. God, I must lead a really boring life if I think comments on my blog are the highlight of my day. I need to get out more...

Met the clotting specialist today

I had my appointment at the Blood and Couagulation Clinic today to discuss the long term plan for managing my Factor V Leiden and the PE. I first met with a fellow. I had to look up just what being a fellow means and this is what I found: Fellows are the highest grade of membership of most professional societies. So I guess she is highly regarded. She did most of the patient interview, and I talked the most with her. I then met with her and the Dr I originally had the appointment scheduled with.

Both Drs seemed positive about the long term treatment. They discussed long term anticouagulation therapy and Dr Francis said I am too young to talk about being on coumadin "for life" He says he manages people on a yearly basis. If things are going well, we can continue the coumadin, If I start to have bleeding issues, then we would stop the coumadin.

I also asked about a filter. They told me filters are usually used in patients that can't tolerate the blood thinners. And as long as I am doing well on the blood thinners, they didn't feel the need for the filter.

I talked with both drs about the pain in my chest. They said that is pretty common after a PE and it is caused by my blood wanting to travel it's usual route, but that route is blocked by the clots. That is supposed to get better over time, as is the shortness of breath. Dr Francis said I should start to feel back to my old self in about 3 months...better than the 6 months I was told before.

And I can fly if I want to....Vegas, baby! Vegas!

And I asked about reoccurance. I didn't get a really straight answer...just that the FVL increases my risk, having had a clot increases my risk of another, and as we age our risk of clotting increases. They just cannot predict who will have another clot or PE. Dr Francis was pretty funny at one point. He said, "heck you are young, what are you ? 40 even?" I laughed and said 42 and he said too young to talk about doing things for life, you have many many years ahead of you. If I were to guess, I would say he is on his 60's, so I suppose 42 would seem young to him.

So all in all, it was pretty encouraging. My INR is 3.1, and my primary doc is keeping me on the 3.5 mg of coumadin. I am comfortable with that level, gives me a little peace of mind to have the INR on the high end of the range, rather than on the low.

Oh, and I get to have a lovely new piece of jewelery. The drs recommended that I get a medic-alert bracelet indicating I am on blood thinners. Guess that will take the place of the watch I stopped wearing a few years ago.

While I was waiting at the clinic, which is really a part of the Wilmont Cancer Center, I figured out just where I am on the sleeves of the hoodie and am ready to begin those again. When the first dr came in the exam room, she saw the knitting and said she was learning. She was impressed with the circular needles and even more impressed that I was working both sleeves at once. I didn't tell her about the missing armholes in the body....I let her think I am a knitting goddess lol

Body of the Hoodie is finished..sort of

Looks pretty good, huh? I finished the knitting, figured out how to do the decreases and cast off this afternoon. Everything should be good, right?? Well, look closer....where are my arms going to go?? Don't ask me how I missed this, but I did not leave armholes!!!!! I now have to rip back probably 6 or 8 inches and then knit the fronts and backs separately. That's what I get for trying to be clever and knit the damn thing all in one piece! GRRRRR!!!

But hey, I have a whole week off from school..what better to do but frog, frog ,frog?


Here is a close up of the diamond pattern. I really like it and am sure I will get some use out of it once it warms up a bit. We are at a balmy 25 degrees today, wind, cloudy...typical Western NY weather for February.

I am feeling tired again today...suppose that has anything to do with the fact I did not sleep last night? I did not take the Lunesta, wanted to see if I could sleep on my own, and well, not so much. Guess I will continue to take it for a while. I lay awake for quite some time last night and then once I got to sleep, I woke several times. I did get to spend some extra time in bed this morning which was quite nice, but still need to get some sleep.

So I am off for a nap, before going out to dinner with a friend, and then tonight, maybe I will start frogging the hoodie.

Vacation...yay!

President's week school break begins today and I have the whole week off...yay! I get to sleep in in the morning, stay in the warm covers...ahh how nice. Except this morning. I had to get up and have blood drawn and then drop my new pants off at the tailor to be hemmed and get a few things at the grocery store.

The cotton hoodie is still coming along. Just an inch or two before I start the neck decreases and then the body will be done. I have to sit down with the pattern and decide how I am going to do the decreases. The pattern was written with the 2 fronts and the back done separately. Of, I did them all together so I didn't have to seam the sides when I am done. I will probably have to put the back stitches on a holder, and knit the two fronts from two balls of yarn....completely do-able. And I have decided to do the sleeves one at a time so I don't get messed up like before. There is a possibility I could get the whole thing done this week.

I finished season one of Lost, now have started season 2. I should be able to watch a bunch of episodes this week..and knit at the same time :-)

Ahhh...sleep!

My dr gave me a prescription for Lunesta yesterday. I took that last night and almost slept through the night, YAY! I only woke up once about 4:45 am and went back to sleep until 9! I feel so much better. It is amazing what a lack of sleep does to you.

I am feeling stronger again today too. I took some bottles back to the recycling place today. It is really sunny here today, although only 22 degrees! brrrrrrrr. Nice day to stay in bed and keep warm all day lol. I also cleaned up around the house a bit and have some laundry in the washer. That will probably be about it for me today.

The cotton hoodie is back on track. I only have a couple of inches to go and then the fronts and the backs will be done. THe pattern is written with back and 2 fronts as 3 separate pieces, but I didn't want to bother with seaming it. So I cast on all the stitches and have been working it in one piece. Now that means I have 200 stitches on the needles and a row takes a few minutes to complete but it is worth it not having to seam it at the end. I will only have to sew in the sleeves and add either buttons or a zipper and it will be down. It is written for buttons, but I think I may put in a zipper. Should start looking at my favorite zipper source: Zipperstop Great place to get zippers of all sizes, types, and colors. And the prices and shipping are reasonable. They are located in NYC...maybe I should take a trip there sometime?

I have all next week of from school. YAY! and plan to knit, watch past episodes of Lost, and sleep! I am almost done with season 1 of Lost...only 2 episodes to go. Then I will begin season 2. Who knew I would get hooked on a TV show again...the last one I was hooked on was Third Watch...something about those boys in uniform! lol

Still so tired

Still very tired, not sleeping well. Just want to feel better... can I have some cheese with my whine? Actually, I prefer some extra dark chocolate with a glass of Shiraz...mmmmm

But I digress. I am calling the dr tomorrow about the tiredness. Maybe he can give me something to help me sleep. I go to bed at night and sleep for about 2 hours and wake up. Then I toss and turn for a couple of hours, never getting back into a good sleep. Wake up more tired than when I went to bed. This morning when I woke up, I started to cry just because I am so tired...what a way to start the day. :-(

I had to rip out the rows I just completed on the cotton hoodie. I accidentally started on the wrong section and the pattern was off. it happened at about the chest area so would have been really noticeable. So I frogged it this afternoon, tinked the last row and am ready to begin again.

And Happy Valentine's Day to everyone! Hope it was all you hoped it would be. :-)

Tired, tired, tired

The title says it all. I am soo tired. It started yesterday and I don't feel like I caught up over night. I went to bed tired last night, woke up tired, dragged through a half day and am still tired. I did get a short nap in but it didn't help much.

I seem to be having a skip or flutter in my heart beat. Almost like palpatations but it doesn't last longer than a beat or two. It just feels funny and it makes me catch my breath. I was talking with someone els that has had a PE and he said he developed a murmur about a month after the PE and it lasted for about 6 months. Wonder if that is what this is? And I wonder if that is what is making me feel tired? Dunno, but i will keep an eye on it and mention it to my dr the next time I see him.

The cotton hoodie is coming along again. Few more inches for the body and then I will restart the sleeves. I used to like to knit while watching a movie or a tv show, just seemed to make the rows go faster for some reason, and I can knit without looking so could watch the show. Now that I am watching past episodes of lost, I am getting into the habit of knitting while something is on the TV.

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day...don't forget to get your sweetie a present!

Early update today

I am working this afternoon so thought I would post this morning.

I had a nice leisurely morning in bed; didn't get up until about 9:30. I could get used to this but will soon be back to work full time. I have the rest of this week @ 1/2 days and next week off for President's week and then will return full time.

I really am starting to feel stronger, physically and emotionally. This has been a rough period but I think I am making progress. I still have many, many things I am re-evaluating about my life, and still have no answers for it! Oh well, i think we are not meant to know what is to happen until it does.

As I was laying in bed this morning, I heard a cardinal! They stay here all winter but I haven't heard any in months. Probably has been too cold to sing! We have one particularly stupid male cardinal that likes to repeatedly bash his head against our chimney. He thinks his reflection is another male cardinal and is fighting with him... I will refrain from any negative male comments at this point only because I am in a good mood and smiling today :-)

Some of you know I have not watched TV in 5 or 6 years. It's a long story but lets just say i was tired of fighting for the remote and not knowing what show I was watching because someone had changed the channel. I have not missed TV at all. If people would talk about various shows, I just didn't pay attention.

Well, someone mentioned the show Lost. I decided to check it out and watched the first episode of this season a week or so ago...what a mistake that was! I am hooked! ABC.com has all the past season's episodes online. I have started with season 1. I think I am up to episode 10 or so. A few episodes ago was the one when Kate and Sawyer kiss...OMG what a hot kiss that was! I need someone to kiss ME like that lol!

Oh, knitting, yeah, this is a knitting blog, right? I am working on the body of the cotton hoodie. Once I got back into the pattern, it has a pretty easy rhythm to it. Maybe I will have it to wear when the weather warms up a bit. I will finish it before I start any of the sweaters in the new Interweave knits magazine. I want to make the flutter sleeve cardigan
And the Aleita Shell
And the Printed Silk Cardigan
Who knows if I will get to any of these. I think I have yarn for the flutter sleeve cardigan, which is the first one I want to make. But...I ...will....finish...the....cotton...hoodie.....first..... (who am I trying to kid?)

Short update today

Still working 1/2 days, although I am feeling a little guilty about it. I am feeling stronger everyday and probably would be ok going back full time. But my Superintendent doesn't seem to mind so I am going to take the time.

I am feeling better emotionally as well. Today is the first time since the PE that I have been in a good mood, and actually laughed. Although I was laughing at myself for making a silly math error.

I am knitting again too. I know I finished the two pairs of socks, but I have also picked up the cotton hoodie. I am going to have to rip the sleeves back because I can't figure out where I left off in the pattern. That isn't such a big deal because I only have about 3 inches done on each sleeve. I was doing them both at the same time, but when I restart them I am going to do them one at a time. This hoodie has been on the needles for at least a year. I had planned to finish it last spring and didn't. Then I planned for last fall and that didn't happen either. Maybe this spring...

So..life is good...today ;-)

Tired today

Feeling pretty tired today. Yesterday I felt good, even thought, hey, maybe I will work full days next week. Today...not so much.

I became breathless while drying my hair this morning and had to go to the living room and sit for a few minutes. That hasn't happened in the past week. And walking from my car to my office also left me breathless. I suppose the ups and downs are normal, but they are still frustrating.

Another thing that is frustrating is people asking me how I am. I know they care, and they wouldn't ask if they didn't want to know, but I feel sort of obligated to say, "Fine thanks, how are you?" I don't think they want to hear "Not so good today, hard to catch my breath, feeling pretty tired." When someone asks me "How are you today?" I have always replied with the polite, no information answer. Now I want to say..."how the hell do you think I am!" But I don't. My usual reply is becoming "Better" or "I'm getting there". And the replies of "It will get better" or "It will be ok" are driving me nuts too....How do they know it will get better? How do they know it will be ok. I think asking "how are you" and saying "it will get better" are really just a way to make the person asking feel better. Sort of like.."ok, I did my good deed today, I checked to see how she is feeling, even though I don't want the real answer".

But besides being breathless, I am in a good mood today. Had a chance to talk with a very close friend that I don't get to talk to as much as I would like. And I am home on the couch again..ready for a nap...naps are good :-)